Monday, March 28, 2011
A medical mistake during an IVF procedure. An unthinkable situation...you’re pregnant with the wrong baby. You can terminate, but you can’t keep him. What choice would you make?
Carolyn and Sean Savage had been trying to expand their family for years. When they underwent an IVF transfer in February 2009, they knew it would be their last chance. If they became pregnant, they would celebrate the baby as an answer to their prayers. If not, they would be grateful for the family they had and leave their fertility struggles behind forever.
They never imagined a third option. The pregnancy test was positive, but the clinic had transferred the wrong embryos. Carolyn was pregnant with someone else’s baby.
The Savages faced a series of heartbreaking decisions: terminate the pregnancy, sue for custody, or hand over the infant to his genetic parents upon delivery. Knowing that Carolyn was carrying another couple’s hope for a baby, the Savages wanted to do what they prayed the other family would do for them if the situation was reversed. Sean and Carolyn Savage decided to give the ultimate gift, the gift of life, to a family they didn’t know, no strings attached.
Inconceivable provides an inside look at how modern medicine, which creates miracles daily, could allow such a tragic mistake, and the many legal ramifications that ensued with both the genetic family and the clinic. Chronicling their tumultuous pregnancy and its aftermath, which tested the Savage’s faith, their relationship to their church, and their marriage, Inconceivable is ultimately a testament to love. Carolyn and Sean loved this baby, making it impossible for them to imagine how they could give him life and then give him away.
In the end, Inconceivable is a story of what it is to be a parent, someone who nurtures a life, protects a soul, only to release that child into the world long before you’re ready to let him go.
After I read Shannon and Paul Morell's book, Misconception, I was really intrigued with the story of Carolyn and Sean Savage. I jumped at the chance to review their book and I wasn't disappointed. While they had no legal or biological claim to the child Carolyn carried, they had an intense emotional claim. This child was one they had wanted and prayed for a loved even before he was conceived. I can't imagine their grief when they found out he wasn't theirs.
Sean and Carolyn alternate telling their stories and the book is the richer for both perspectives. Their story is candid and honest and they do a fantastic job of sharing their feelings. Pregnancy is an emotional roller coaster and a physically demanding roller coaster. Holding that baby in your arms when it's over is what makes it worth it. To go into a pregnancy with that hope and then to have it destroyed in this manner is unfathomable. The mother in me could so relate to Carolyn's feelings and the absolute love she had for the child she carried, biological or not.
To say I was moved is an understatement. I was touched beyond words. I found their courage admirable. What was so frustrating for me is how self-centered the biological mother was. Even in her own book, she had very little concern for Carolyn and Sean's feelings. Rather than just expecting the Savages to turn Logan over to them, I think the Morell's could have shown more empathy for them and gratitude for the fact that they did just that.
I have sympathy for the Morells but very little respect. I have the utmost respect for the Savages.
Thanks to Trish at TLC for the opportunity to review this book. You can learn more about Carolyn and Sean Savage here. You can see other reviews here. You can purchase your own copy here.
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