Пятница Ponderings: Word of the Year

Ponder: to consider something deeply and thoroughly; meditate 
Пятница (PYAHT-nee-tsuh): Friday in Russian

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Choosing your word of the year. Good for growth or a trendy bandwagon?

I've never really chosen a word to represent me or to focus on. I'm not opposed to it, by any means. Anything that facilitates healing and personal growth is a good thing.

Just like I don't make official goals or resolutions each year, but I attempt to continue on my journey of healing and growth.

I have seen many posts throughout social media about the word of the year though. How to choose it, what a person's word is. 

For some, I see it as a way to get attention. " Look at me. I'm an influencer. Here's my expensive necklace or vinyl lettering of my word for the year."

Yeah, I tend to scroll past those posts. Can't relate, but I can see their need for significance. I hope they somehow find it and that their word does mean something to them. 

I pause at the posts which are honestly reflective. Where the person has shared their word and why. I am often enlightened and touched by those posts. And truly, most people who share their word or their decision-making process are reflective. Their journey is important and the word they choose is important.

The last few years my focus has been on authenticity. I don't have the word posted somewhere. I don't wear it on a chain. But it's there. 

I grew up in a high demand religion. A religion that dictated how I lived, how I dressed, what I didn't eat or drink. How to think. 

High demand religions don't allow people their own voices. They don't allow you to be yourself and discover your own wants/needs/personality. They make you believe you have the ability to choose your life for yourself, but you really don't. 

And I realized a few years ago that I wanted more. So, I have been on a journey to discover who I am and what I want and how I think and what I believe. It's a process and I keep finding more layers to uncover and examine. It's one of the hardest things I've ever done.

But, in doing this work, I've discovered that I value kindness above anything else. I often say that love is verb, but I truly believe it is. I have found that I am kinder and less judgmental now.  I have come to learn that all of us have a divine sense, that the fact that we exist makes us remarkable. I believe that people are inherently good and I wish they could all see that for themselves. 

I am becoming me. I am learning who I am at my core. Not who someone else expects me to be.

And I want this life that I lead, right now, to be the best one possible and if I can, one that does the most good to make this world a better place. And it definitely is a process of ups and downs and layers. And growth and regression and progress and mistakes. 

But it is mine.

So my word? 

Authentic. 

I am striving to be authentic in my life and my story and I hope to be able to allow other people authenticity in theirs. 

What about you?